


Holding onto you...

by Babbling



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Accident, Byeongchan, Confession, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Holding Hands, Hospital, Kinda, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, i guess, it’s cute, kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:07:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21792718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babbling/pseuds/Babbling
Summary: “What are you doing?” Chan whispered, his head still lowered in hopes that Byeongkwan wouldn’t notice his tears.“I’m holding on to you, before you leave me again.”
Relationships: Kang Yuchan | Chan/Kim Byeongkwan
Kudos: 35





	Holding onto you...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chantipede](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chantipede/gifts).



> Uhm...basically someone kinda challenged me to write a Byeongchan one shot about an accident and this is what happened haha
> 
> It’s short but I hope, you’ll still like it especially since Byeongchan is such a rare paring :)

Chan would probably never forget the moment, when he had gotten the call from Sehyoon, not even five seconds after he had stepped out of the Café in which they had been supposed to meet;

“Shit, Chan-ah, I won’t be able to make it. Byeongkwan got into an accident...I’m on my way to the hospital right now!” It had taken a long time for his brain to process the words that his friend had gotten out in such a hurry, the concern easily noticeable. 

The cup of coffee in his hand when he had gotten the call fell to the floor with a dull sound. The lid jumped off and the coffee splashed everywhere, including Chan’s clothes but he didn’t care. That wasn’t important right now. 

Byeongkwan...Byeongkwan had gotten into an accident! Byeongkwan had gotten hurt! It was like his brain wasn’t able to grasp any other thoughts, while he felt panic rise in him and his breath speeding up. 

“He...what?!” 

“I don’t know what exactly happened...Okay, I arrived. I’ll call you later!” With these words, his friend hung up and left Chan on his own at the side of the street, shivering even though he had still been sweating in the hot sun only some seconds ago, while pictures of Byeongkwan’s small bloody figure started piling up in his mind. The people, passing him, were staring at him and the puddle of coffee around his feet, but Chan didn’t even notice. 

It took him what felt like hours until he had enough control over his body to slowly turn around and walk into the direction of his home which luckily wasn’t very far from the Café.

What if it had been a really bad accident? What if Byeongkwan was laying in a coma now? Or even worse; what if he...But Chan didn’t want to finish the last thought. He simply couldn’t. Chan knew that it was selfish but he wasn’t ready to let go of Byeongkwan yet. Not that he had ever been able to call the other his or hold onto him...

“Shit!” He cursed, feeling hot tears starting to stream down his face. He hated the uncertainty; to not know how Byeongkwan was feeling. He also hated that he wasn’t there; that nobody had called him and that the other was not waiting for Chan to visit him in the hospital either.

Just why had he fucked up like that?!

By now his tears had gotten too much for him to be able see and he stopped, his knees giving in so that he slumped to the ground. Chan was angry at himself and at the same time, the worry for Byeongkwan was nearly killing him. There was so much regret, were so many things unsaid and so many opportunities unused and it was Chan’s own fault.

In that moment his phone buzzed and in the hurry to see, who had texted him, he nearly let it fall to the ground like his cup of coffee earlier. 

While he unlocked his phone, his eyes fell onto his lock screen and pain pierced his heart like a hot needle. Byeongkwan. The smiling picture of the other as his background had been as much of a secret as his feelings for him and for a second, he regretted having ripped his phone out of Byeongkwan’s hands back then, before he had been able to see. Maybe it would have been better, if he had been forced to explain. Maybe he would have finally told Byeongkwan about his feelings then, instead of avoiding him all the time. 

The buzzing of second message reminded him of the fact that he still hadn’t read the first one and after his eyes had hastily scanned it, relieve slightly calmed the storm inside his mind. They were from Sehyoon; 

“Hey, I’m still in the hospital. Byeongkwan woke up not long ago, thought you might want to know” Chan took a deep breath, his shoulders finally relaxing again. Then he read the second message;

“I’ll send you the address. I know you two haven’t been on good terms but if you still want to visit him...” 

* * *

“ _You haven’t been on good terms_ ” That sentence kept on circulating in Chan’s mind throughout the entire rest of the day and night. Sehyoon had been right; they hadn’t even really talked to each other. Not since their kiss; not since Byeongkwan had laughed and told him that it’s okay to kiss your friends. 

Chan sighed, letting his gaze wander outside the window. It had been a stupid idea to go to school in the first place. As if he was able to think about anything else than Byeongkwan today...As if he had ever been able to think about anything else than the cheeky boy with too pretty eyes and too much confidence. Again, he sighed, before he couldn’t take it any longer and jumped up. 

Immediately all eyes in the class, including his teacher’s, were on him. 

“Uhm...I...I don’t feel so good. Can I go home? I think, I’m getting sick.” His teacher gave him a concerned look and for once Chan was thankful for never getting enough sleep. 

“Sure...Go home and make sure to rest!” She told him and he nodded, before he packed his things and left the school building. However, his legs didn’t intend on carrying him home today. 

Instead he suddenly found himself in the entrance hall of the hospital which Sehyoon had sent him the address of, and the confusion and uncertainty, he felt, had to clearly be showing on his face, because one of the nurses eyed him with a concerned expression, before she decided to approach him. 

“Are you all right? Are you searching for someone?” Hesitantly Chan nodded, avoiding her piercing eyes that seemed to stare into his soul and easily detect the reason why he had come here. 

“I’m searching for my...friend...” He mumbled. 

“What is his name?” The nurse asked, smiling warmly, while she carefully guided him towards the reception desk.

“Byeongkwan...Kim Byeongkwan.” While she told the women at the desk who he was searching for, Chan couldn’t help but let his eyes wander to the door. Maybe it would be the best to just leave...To not see Byeongkwan after all. The other probably didn’t even want to see him. They hadn’t talked in nearly three months now...He probably thought that Chan didn’t want to be friends with him anymore, while the reality had been so different. Chan had to think back to all the moments in which he had yearned to be around Byeongkwan again; to touch him, to talk and laugh with him...

“Your friend is on the third floor in room number 304. Do you think you can find the way or should I go with you?” The voice of the nurse had pulled him out of his thoughts and whatever confused expression he had made made the nurse smile sympathetically again and then turn to her colleagues.

“I’ll quickly walk him upstairs.” Immediately Chan regretted not having shaken his head fast enough. Now that the nurse was coming with him, there was no way for him to run away again and that thought scared him. He had come here with a plan but now said plan suddenly didn’t seem like such a good idea anymore. 

“Let’s go.” Once again, the nurse softly put a hand on his upper arm, while she guided him through the crowded hall, corridors and to the elevators. However, Chan didn’t pay attention to where they were going. His brain was too occupied with trying to not completely loose it. 

In his opinion, they arrived way too fast and he didn’t even have time to find an excuse to turn around after all, before the nurse had already softly knocked onto the door and then pushed him inside. 

But apparently luck was on his side, because when Chan’s eyes fell on Byeongkwan, he saw that he was sound asleep. Again, he thought about if he should sneak away but instead his legs slowly carried him towards the bed, holding in his breath with the fear to wake him. 

Seeing him sleeping peacefully like this immediately helped him to relax. Being so close to Byeongkwan again after such a long time felt like drinking after having been in the sun for too long and before he really knew what he was doing, Chan’s hand stretched out and softly touched the bandage on Byeongkwan’s forehead.

It hurt him to see the other like this, and he wished he could take away whatever pain Byeongkwan was feeling. He wanted to make him feel better again but he never had been able to in the past, so how should that change all of a sudden?

“Chan-ah...?” The soft, hoarse voice had been quiet but Chan nearly fell off his chair because of how much it startled him. 

Byeongkwan blinked at him, still sleepy but also clearly surprised. 

“Byeongkwan...” Like so often Chan’s eyes flickered from the door and back at the boy in the hospital bed. He wanted to run, panic suddenly exploding in him again but Byeongkwan’s next words made him stay.

“I didn’t think you would come...but I’m glad you did.” Chan’s eyes slightly widened in surprise. 

“But...but I thought, you wouldn’t want to see me...” 

“Huh?” Byeongkwan’s deep frown made it obvious that he had apparently been wrong. “Why wouldn’t I want to see you? You’re my friend. Even though I have to admit that it pisses me off how you suddenly stopped talking to me.” He furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes observing Chan like the nurse had also done it earlier. “Have I done anything wrong?” The younger gulped, a new wave of panic making its way to his brain.

_That’s it_ , he thought, _I should finally tell him_. After all he had lost Byeongkwan already...so a rejection wouldn’t make much difference right? Maybe it would even help Chan to get over his one-sided crush. So, he took a deep breath and tried his best to look right into the other’s eyes.

“I...I...have to tell you something...” Immediately curiosity started shining on Byeongkwan’s face and Chan felt how his confidence slowly left him. What if Byeongkwan would be disgusted? What if he would hate the thought of Chan liking him that way?

“Hey...calm down...” Byeongkwan said softly and only now he noticed how his breathing had sped up again. “Whatever it is, you don’t have to tell me, if you are not ready... Not that I’m not curious but you can still tell me later...” However, Chan knew that there probably would be no ‘later’ because they would go back to their former lives and, when he suddenly felt soft fingers brushing over the back of his hand in a try to comfort him, the words simply broke out of him.

“I like you!” A silence rose in which Chan was too scared to take his eyes off the white blanket which was covering Byeongkwan’s legs. Then he couldn’t take it any longer and kept on talking.

“I...I’ve liked you for a while now. I don’t know, when it started but...” He took a shaky breath, “I failed as a friend...” Chan wanted to disappear in the ground, turn invisible or just run away. It felt weird to say these things aloud after he had tried his best to keep them a secret for so long. 

“You are such an idiot...” The words made the tears that had gathered in his eyes finally fall. Byeongkwan was right; he was an idiot. An idiot who had fallen for one of his friends that had been way out of his league to begin with and now he was paying the price for it. He wanted to pull his hand away, maybe apologise and finally leave, but as soon as he moved his hand, Byeongkwan suddenly grabbed it. 

“What are you doing?” Chan whispered, his head still lowered in hopes that the other wouldn’t notice his tears. 

“I’m holding on to you, before you leave me again.” Byeongkwan’s voice sounded soft and vulnerable, and when Chan looked up surprised, he was met with two fond eyes. “Why are you crying?” 

“Because...because...” But he wasn’t able to explain himself, because Byeongkwan slowly sat up and then carefully brushed away the tears on his face. 

“Don’t cry...It makes me feel sad too...” Chan didn’t understand what was going on. All of this was too much for his brain to process which seemingly had stopped working the moment, he had set foot into the hospital earlier.

“What...what do you mean...? I can’t do anything about my emotions!” At this Byeongkwan rolled his eyes. 

“I’m trying to tell you that I like you too, you idiot!” 

“Huh?” Chan’s mouth dropped open. That hadn’t been in any of the scenarios he had thought through again and again, before coming here and that fact confused him. “But the kiss...you said friends can kiss too!” At the mentioning of their first and only kiss, the other immediately turned red. 

“I...I started panicking! You looked so scared that I thought you had hated it and ... I would have never thought you like me back. Then, when you started avoiding me afterwards, it only confirmed my thoughts...” He bit onto his lower lip.

“I thought you knew that I’m not as confident as I pretend to be... I mean...you are a lot more handsome than me and there are many better people that you could date...And I—uhmp!” But the last part got muffled by Chan’s hand which he had pressed onto Byeongkwan’s mouth without even really thinking about it. 

“Shut up! That’s not even true! You are really beautiful and...” He hesitated, before he pulled away his hand again, “I really like you...” They both looked at each other, not really knowing what to do now. 

“Uhm...so...” Byeongkwan eventually spoke up and Chan felt him nervously drawing circles onto his hand with his thumb. “You think, we can talk to each other again and maybe...do something?” At this Chan couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“Is this your way of asking me out?” Byeongkwan started pouting offended.

“Do it better, if you don’t like it! You don’t have to accept!” He wanted to pull his hand away but this time Chan was the one holding onto it. Suddenly it was like back then, when they still had been friends and touching Byeongkwan had been the most normal thing in the world. Slowly Chan leant forward, the realisation that the other liked him too, making him regain the confidence from the time, before he had given his heart to his friend.

“Would you like to go on date with me, Kim Byeongkwan? I mean, after you are discharged from the hospital of course.” His friend seemed to accept the challenge, because he slowly came closer too. 

“Can you wait for me that long, Kang Yuchan?” Chan felt his breath go uneven at the sudden closeness, but he tried his best to keep up his confident expression and to not look like he was secretly dying on the inside.

“I’ve waited for over half a year already...I think a few more weeks won’t make much of a difference.” Byeongkwan smiled.

“Then it’s a yes.” He said, before he leaned in even closer and softly pressed their lips together. 

The kiss wasn’t perfect—Chan had to bend over a bed and they had to be extra careful because Byeongkwan’s arm was broken—but it was more than he had ever hoped for and he now was sure that there would be many more opportunities in the future. It didn’t have to be perfect, because being with Byeongkwan was already perfect enough.

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first time writing Byeongchan but I really enjoyed it and I would definitely do it again. I think they vibe well together and have a lot of potential as a ff couple hahah 
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated 😊


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